When it comes to the topic of self transformation, I find that the greatest ally I have, are often the most challenging people in my life. People who frustrate us, they are actually teaching us. Without such people we may not have spotted our flaws, and thought ourselves more blameless than we are.
Recently I was visiting my elderly mother. I came to her apartment to help her with a specific problem. I called her on the phone and asked if she needed anything else. “No,” she tells me. So I driver over, before work starts, and once I get there she hands me a list of other things she needs done.
Needless to say I was caught off guard and became frustrated.
“Why do you always do this to me,” I questioned. In her literal fashion she said, “this is the first time I’ve asked you to do this specific thing.”
“No,” I protested, “I mean asking me for one thing while hiding a list of other things you really want done.”
We bickered for some time, and then off I went to do her list of needs. In that moment there was a small peek of the light of the present moment. I saw myself making the error… the error of ego. “My time is important to me,” <- my ego was well represented in my words. There was more. I felt a strong frustration as this happens often and it goes back to my entire life track with this person.
My mother isn’t a problem. She is one of my greatest teachers. She reminds me of my anger, my frustration and my ego. While I’ve improved throughout my life, I’ve certainly continued a pattern of error. In time, however, I believe I will overcome my issues and be able to relate to her in Light and Reason, without any frustration.
Perhaps you have someone in your life like this as well. I would invite you to consider these people as teachers, but there is of course a boundary. No one should allow someone to abuse or harm them. What I’m pointing to, are those that frustrate us by their attitudes or triggering speech. These people help us find our own weaknesses and areas to work on.